I love my daughter with all my heart but motherhood is hard.
At the age of 22, I was blessed with my first child and motherhood is nothing like I would have imagined. Becoming a young mother was life changing for me, I had a really hard time adjusting in the beginning. Imagine giving birth to a child when you’re still trying to find your own way. There’s a lot of early mornings and late nights. There were so many times she cried and because I couldn’t figure out what was wrong I cried. It was hard to differentiate whether the cries were for hunger or if she was tired. I was extremely lucky because just like all babies, she did cry but she wasn’t a fussy baby.
There were a lot of nights I didn’t rest because after getting her to sleep, I would just lay there and watch her. I may not have been ready for Peyton but I do believe she came in my life at the right time and for a reason. I wouldn’t have changed anything I’ve done thus far because it has shaped me, not only as a mother but the young women I’m becoming.
It terrified me to think that in addition to taking care of myself, I would now be caring for another human being. I was no longer concerned with myself, every decision and choice I made was with her in mind. My “selfish years,” were over. My mindset was completely different, no matter what the decision was in regards to, I thought about it how would affect Peyton.
My love for my daughter helped me learn to be more selfless. She soften my heart, and helped me view the world through a different perspective.
“Mothers and their children are in a category all their own. There’s no bond so strong in the entire world. No love so instantaneous and forgiving.” —Gail Tsukiyama